PREPARING YOUR ATTENDANTS
Getting married involves so many decisions. First you have to say, ‘Yes, I’ll marry you.’ Then you start picking out decorations, rings, napkins, shower curtains and reception sites. The tension becomes a little overwhelming at times. So be a good friend and share it. Ask your buddies to shoulder the stress for you.
Save your bridesmaid positions for especially important people. When you pop the question to your friends, let them know how much they mean to you. You might:
- Have a wedding party luncheon inviting all the people you want to include in your ceremony.
- Spend an afternoon with the ‘girls.’ Treat everyone to dinner and make the pitch over dessert.
- Ask each person one-on-one. Tell them how important this is to you and outline their duties to them.
When considering someone as a potential bridesmaid, think of the responsibilities that go along with the bridesmaid title and then make your decision based on the answer to this question, ‘Would she feel comfortable and be happy fulfilling these duties?’ She’ll have to:
- Give a bridal shower or a luncheon
- Be part of the bridal procession
- Pay for her own transportation, lodging, dress, shoes and accessories
- Act as deputy hostess
- Be your rock-solid support system throughout the whole process
Organize your attendants, so that on the day of the wedding you don’t need to be concerned about the flower girl’s shoes. Break it down for everyone:
- Hand out an itinerary: Map out the play-by-play. Include maps to the ceremony, photograph site, reception and hotels.
- Give the maid of honor a to-do list: Stop worrying about her jobs; communicate her tasks to her early so she’ll have plenty of time to prepare.
- Use the rehearsal dinner to host a mini-meeting: Capitalize on this last minute time you’ll all have together. Hold a mock wedding day run-through. Create a back-up plan and distribute it in case the weather decides to act up.
- Ask everyone to carry their cell phones: Think of them as wedding walkie-talkies. You might need to give some last minute instructions while your maid of honor is out at the florist picking up rose petals for the reception. Just remind everyone to turn them off before the ceremony begins.
Make what you want crystal clear. If you don’t want the best man dedicating a song to your little sister, tell him before he hits the reception. You and your groom are the only people getting married so you reserve the right to determine the etiquette and dress of the ceremony and reception. Choose responsible, loyal friends to fill out your wedding party. Communicate what you want months ahead of time.