As soon as you pop the question, you’ll have friends lined up around the block, eagerly waiting to be asked to be a part of your wedding. So whom do you choose? And what should you look for in a groomsman or best man? Here are some pointers on how to choose your groomsmen.
A best man should ensure the groom is ready and raring to go on his wedding day. The best man should be:
- Significant: Tradition has it that the honor goes to someone who means a lot to the groom: a best friend, a brother or a close male relative. Also consider whether that person plays a significant role in your fianc?e’s life. Be open-minded and don’t push a candidate with whom your future wife or either of your families feels uncomfortable.
- Flexible: Pick someone who can handle wearing many hats, from planning your bachelor party to giving a toast at the reception.
- Dependable: Your best man is your confidant, a source of emotional support prior to and throughout the wedding. He must be able to provide a comforting presence. Also he’ll make sure you’re on time and presentable on your wedding day!
You might find yourself torn between two potential candidates. Feel free to have two best men in your wedding ceremony. Make sure to either mention both of them in your program or recognize them in a special toast at your reception.
Similar to selecting the best man, look for individuals who are important to you and will live up to the commitment. Other than ushering, your men will seat guests and walk the bridesmaids down the aisles. Find friends and relatives who are respectful and reliable.
Of course the most coveted position is that of best man. But you can’t please everyone and might bruise egos. Let the groomsmen know that to be a groomsman is as much of an honor as handling the best man job.
Traditionally the number of groomsmen is determined by the ceremony’s formality. Four to eight groomsmen are appropriate for semi-formal and formal weddings. If your ceremony is informal and casual, or it’s your second marriage, opt for having only one attendant — your best man.
Ultimately the decision is yours. After you’ve decided on your groomsmen, you may have more of them than bridesmaids. To determine if you want an equal number, think about the processional and how you want it to look. If including everyone on your list matters, you could devise your own processional order. For example, bridesmaids and groomsmen can walk the aisle alone in the processional and recessional. Just make sure those involved are comfortable with this arrangement.